Milwaukee's Best Premium Beer

My girlfriend and I just moved from the elitist college town of Davis, California to the blue collar county seat of Yolo County, Woodland, California. There are a number of obvious superficial differences between the populace of Davis and Woodland. There are more manicured goatees in Woodland and more unkempt Marxian beards in Davis. The vehicle of choice in Davis is a bicycle or a Prius, whereas the Woodlander vastly prefers the Ford F-250 with at least a 6 inch lift and a custom skid plate/bumper package. The cancer-averse vegetarians of Davis don't leave home without large sunhats to protect their delicate porcelain skin from UV radiation, while those in Woodland are either Hispanic or sunburned pink, doing true justice to the slang term "redneck."

No one enjoys moving, but everyone enjoys celebrating having finally finished relocating all of your belongings to a new place called home. That celebration should, of course, be paired with an appropriate beer that somehow embodies your new community. Exhausted from hauling boxes, I contemplated my libation options. A west coast über-hoppy IPA to honor the spirit of northern California agriculture? C'mon, too generic. Maybe a bold and fruity Belgian to represent the vast fruit and nut tree orchards that surround my new home? Too pretentious and expensive.

After much deliberation, I settled on driving my pickup truck down to Wal-Mart to buy a 12-pack of Milwaukee's Best Premium Beer for $5.99. I tend to purchase malt liquor when I opt for drinking macrobrews, largely because the taste, body, mouthfeel, and alcohol content of the big rice-based pale lagers are always disappointing. However, this beer lived up to its "premium" label. True, Milwaukee's Best is mostly water at a mere 4.3% ABV. But the thin mouthfeel and hydrating power of the brew make it ideal for gulping after a long day of work. Unlike other macros like Miller Lite and Icehouse that leave unpleasant metallic tastes in your mouth, Milwaukee's Best goes down smoothly and crisply with a subtle grain taste. Welcome to Woodland, folks! Unleash the beast!