Keystone Light

Sometimes an objectively offensive beer can be delectable if it can capture the essence of a pleasant moment from your past. I was hoping that Keystone Light would do just that for me this evening.

During the winter vacation that followed my college graduation and preceded my departure to Nicaragua by several weeks, Davis and I purchased a 30-rack of Keystone Light to enjoy with an unusual mix of Valley High School alum in my mother's home in Clive, Iowa. Unlike most graduates from the University of Iowa, I had tasted very few macrobrews at that point in my life. For those of you who aren't aware, I didn't start drinking until well after having turned 21. When I did start drinking, I limited my beer intake to local Eastern Iowa brews like Millstream's Wheat Ale. Davis blew my mind with the seductively fruity taste of Keystone Light. Not only did the beer reek of banana peels, it really tasted like one of those weird Laffy Taffy attempts to capture the banana flavor.

I wanted to indulge in that banana brew nostalgia this evening. Unfortunately, I ended up with a more-costly-than-anticipated $8 12-pack of tasteless crap. It certainly seems to live up to its slogan "always smooth," but that watery chugability comes at the cost of an abysmally low 4.2% ABV. Whereas Milwaukee's Best provides a crisp grain subtlety, Keystone Light's predominate taste is water. Props on the ergonomic can shape, but I think I'd have to drink all 12 of these to even feel a buzz.

"Smooth: A hot tub.
Smoother: A hot tub in the back of your limo."

At least I got this helpful life lesson out of the deal...