Based upon the can design and the ri
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It's never a good sign when a brew is the same color as your piss is going to be the next morning. It's an even worse sign when it smells so strongly of rotten fruit that you gag. I should have stopped there before even tasting this travesty. However, I was determined to make up for the lack of reviews from other contributors and powered through.
Having consumed plenty of low quality malt beverages in my time (see Kiwi-Strawberry Evil Eye, for example), I decided to try to overwhelm my taste buds with a flavor other than stank liquor. With a mouthful of Flamin' Hot Límon Cheetos, I carefully took my first sip of Earthquake. The result was an inappropriately loud "BLECH!" Wow, this is awful! I can't remember the last time I actually considered pouring an open container of beer down the drain, but I certainly did tonight. Imagine what might happen if you were possessed to take a 40 of St. Ides, dump it into a large bowl with several rotten apples and two pounds of refined granulated sugar, then add just enough bleach to sear your throat before mixing up this witch's brew and canning it. What might happen? Earthquake High Gravity Lager just might.
Despite its clear and numerous flaws, this beer is clearly on the market for a reason. Here are some hypotheses as to what that reason may be:
1. To get you really drunk for really cheap (definitely feeling it after just 12 ounces).
2. To create a high level of toxicity in your body to help eliminate warts (will keep you posted).
3. To deter the poor bastards who buy this shit from ever drinking again.
4. To improve the sustainability of the apple cider industry by making use of below-grade product.
Unless you are an unwavering advocate of any of the movements possibly affiliated with theories 1-4, avoid Earthquake High Gravity Lager at all costs and save your money for a bag of California Earthquake Chips.
Good job on the new layout!
ReplyDeleteliterally reddit the review
ReplyDeleteI drink this shit and I can say if you think you hard-core and don't give a fuck well go ahead and have some too 😎😎
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